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Wednesday, 05 July 2006 |
"Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them."
- Bill Vaughan |
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Wednesday, 28 June 2006 |
"One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say."
- Will Durant |
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Tuesday, 27 June 2006 |
All generalizations are dangerous, even this one.
- Alexandre Dumas |
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Thursday, 08 June 2006 |
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers |
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Monday, 17 April 2006 |
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty |
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Friday, 10 March 2006 |
"If the automobile had followed the same development
cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a
million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone
inside."
- Robert X. Cringely |
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Sunday, 05 March 2006 |
"Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right."
- Kurt Herbert Alder |
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Tuesday, 14 February 2006 |
"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
- Johnny Carson
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Tuesday, 03 January 2006 |
Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.
- George Bernard Shaw |
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Thursday, 29 December 2005 |
The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
- Ronald Reagan |
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Sunday, 18 December 2005 |
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
- Rodney Dangerfield |
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Saturday, 10 December 2005 |
In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.
- Andy Warhol |
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Tuesday, 06 December 2005 |
I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
- John Cage |
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Monday, 28 November 2005 |
Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is
the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things
are and what they ought to be.
- William Hazlitt |
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Saturday, 26 November 2005 |
Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once.
- Tallulah Bankhead |
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Friday, 04 November 2005 |
It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without temptations.
- Walter Bagehot
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Tuesday, 01 November 2005 |
Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.
- Wilson Mizner |
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Monday, 24 October 2005 |
When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.
- Benjamin Disraeli |
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Wednesday, 19 October 2005 |
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
-Carl Zwanzig
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Monday, 17 October 2005 |
Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.
- Eric Hoffer |
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Wednesday, 12 October 2005 |
"There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people."
- Muhammad Ali |
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Friday, 07 October 2005 |
All science is either physics or stamp collecting.
-Ernest Rutherford |
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Tuesday, 04 October 2005 |
We've heard that a million monkeys at a million
keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks
to the Internet, we know that is not true.
- Robert Wilensky |
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Friday, 30 September 2005 |
"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction."
- Blaise Pascal
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Tuesday, 27 September 2005 |
There are two kinds of light--the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures.
- James Thurber |
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Saturday, 24 September 2005 |
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
- Albert Einstein |
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Friday, 23 September 2005 |
Thanks
to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds
of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.
-Kurt Vonnegut |
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Wednesday, 21 September 2005 |
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)
-Ambrose Bierce
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Monday, 19 September 2005 |
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -Oscar Wilde |
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Thursday, 15 September 2005 |
"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet."
- Mae West |
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Sunday, 11 September 2005 |
As we grow old…the beauty steals inward.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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Friday, 09 September 2005 |
Rough quote of Dave Attell by a coworker -
"I was in a bar one day...then I saw this woman sitting alone, I
thought, 'I'm alone, she's alone, I'll go up to talk to her', so I got
a little closer and noticed she had a shiner and thought 'great, she
doesn't listen...'"
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Thursday, 08 September 2005 |
Politics
is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize
that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
-Ronald Reagan |
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Tuesday, 06 September 2005 |
Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein.
- Joe Theismann |
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Friday, 02 September 2005 |
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.
- John Kenneth Galbraith |
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Thursday, 01 September 2005 |
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
-Mahatma Gandhi |
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Wednesday, 31 August 2005 |
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
-Lily Tomlin |
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Tuesday, 30 August 2005 |
Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when
you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
-Fran
Lebowitz
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Monday, 29 August 2005 |
A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
-Rodney Dangerfield |
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Saturday, 27 August 2005 |
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then
suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice
weasels come.
- Matt Groening |
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Friday, 26 August 2005 |
'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
-Abraham Lincoln |
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Thursday, 25 August 2005 |
I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.
-Dan Quayle |
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Wednesday, 24 August 2005 |
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is.
-Chuck Reid |
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Tuesday, 23 August 2005 |
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The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
- Robert Benchley |
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